EMBRACING FRIENDSHIP IN RELATIONSHIP
Amos 3:3
Can two walk together except they be agreed? (KJV)
Pro 18:24b
…and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Friendship is one of the essential components of a vibrant relationship. The relationship we refer to here is that between a husband and his wife or that between two people engaged to marry. Friendship makes our world interesting and it strengthens relationship. A large number of people use the word “friend” casually but in the true sense of what it means, it is deeper than having casual acquaintance which is quite common. It is people who are joined together in heart and soul. Friendship doesn’t come to full bloom overnight, it takes time to grow and mature. In building long-lasting friendship, one needs to take cognizance of a lot of things.
The basic unshakeable foundation is GOD. God is love and so we can always play with words and also say that “the unshakeable foundation in a long-lasting friendship is LOVE (1John4:8,16). Having the same common factor which is God helps you to operate from the same mindset about things, situations and life. The absence of this foundation in many relationships has caused a wreck of their ‘ship’.
If a relationship is based on physical attraction and physical qualities it will fade off in the process of time. Life brings about changes. These changes are not only physical, they can also be emotional. Of a certain fact, both parties gradually become older and some of the physical attributes wane. Therefore, if a guy gets into a relationship because a lady has a beautiful face or a great body, if she gets involved in an accident that would cause irreparable damages to her face or body, what becomes of the relationship? True friendship is stronger than physical attraction and can withstand the vicissitudes of life in the passage of time. Friendship is like fine wine growing sweeter as it ages.
The strongest and most successful relationships are those that are based on friendship rather than on any sense of need or incompleteness on the part of either or both persons involved. A relationship motivated by need destroys friendship because it’s self-centered. Many times people get into relationships to manipulate the other person for personal gain. When this is the situation, frustration, suspicion, anger and bitterness becomes the order of the day in that relationship. One needs to know how to build and maintain wholesome friendships. People who are without God don’t truly understand love and can’t truly understand friendship.
Man has physical, emotional and spiritual needs and in friendship, these needs are met. Two people in a relationship should be involved in the each other’s life. There is need to have someone you can talk to about anything (and I mean ANYTHING) and not feel inferior to the other party. Someone you can share your deepest thoughts with, have heart to heart talks and be committed to each others success and be sources of encouragement and motivation for one another. This helps intimacy of spirit and mind and can only be cultivated in an atmosphere of friendship in any particular relationship.
Remember that I said building long-lasting friendship. At the initial stage, the level of openness might be very low but over time it improves especially if both parties are sincere with each other. Freedom to correct each other is also important in building sound friendship.
Finally, if you really love your spouse or someone you intend to get married to, then little thoughtful actions become important. Little things like ‘flashing’ each other during the day at different times, sending romantic messages, consistent phone calls, actually count and reinforce friendship in a relationship.
By Damilola Whenu.
